Bitternot

I've been gathering the right words to tell you. The right words to epitomize how I had felt toward you while we barely know each other and when we got somehow together. Predominantly, how I felt when you got right back to her, just a day.. a week or two after we called it quits.

Millions and gazillions of words to choose from and say;
yet all it took is just one person to take them all away.

Unbelievable as it may seem, nevertheless, words have started to become elusive. Inspiration had lost its way towards me. I just can't find the perfect word nor phrase to depict how I felt all along. And even if I was able to do so, I know I won't have the guts to tell it straight to your face.. the face that I once knew, the face that once had driven me out of my senses.. Ulul.

Nonetheless, I must thank you for I've gained a lot from being with you. It was one heck of an occurrence. It made me go to the extremes. Ultimate highs and lows, what we had was certainly bittersweet. You made me feel something I've never felt with anyone else. I had felt this sense of longing when in fact all the while, at the back of my mind, I was aware that everything was just a slip-up, a mistake. An ironically sweet yet foolish mistake made by two people trying to recover and cauterize from the wounds caused by a spiteful past.

Perhaps it was my fault that I gave in easily to you.. to your words of assurance, to your plausible tongue. I should have held back and repressed my feelings for you instead of just letting my emotion take control of me, and telling you how I truly felt. However, at this point in time, wallowing on self-pity is not an option for me anymore.

Upon grasping the thought of "us" being completely over, I've realized I can't force love out of my heart nor can I thrust love into it. There's just certainly no justice in sticking to someone you're unsure of. Someone who makes you an option, a fall back.. Someone who makes you nothing but a stupid rebound.

I got to apprehend that I can't get stuck on thoughts of you. I've undergone the phase wherein I just had to let go and accept that there are people who just aren't meant for each other and there are certain things in life that just can't be.

Call it short-term, call it a fling.
But I can say, whatever it is that we had was real.
Well, for me.. at least.
=)) asldkamsd

I know better now. A loooot better. Lumevel-up na naman ako. :))
I had to *level-up* the hard way though. Hahaha