TRUE THAT.
Yes I survived the car crash. Lucky? At first, yes. But after some time, I think it's bulllshit.
Now is just an entirely different story. In as much as I would want to continue filling my head with optimism, I just couldn’t help but think how unjust things are.
I mean no harm to anybody but I just couldn’t get why, of all people on this planet, does it have to be me?! I can’t help but feel envious and jealous of my friends who were able to get their normal lives back right after the accident. I DON'T GET IT. How can their lives be back to normal while mine isn’t?! It's not fair!
I’m leaving for the US in a matter of 3 months, OR LESS and guess what. Here goes my worthless self, “making the most” of my stay in the PH at home, busting my eyes off this laptop watching DVDs, desperately hoping for friends to drop by and visit.
All the while I thought it was only our vehicle that got totally wrecked by the accident. Well apparently, even my entire being, is.
Insecurity’s consuming me. Having part of my hair shaved due to the stitches on my head, it will take a long time for me to grow it back. And in addition to all the crap, my family doesn’t trust me anymore and I have completely no social life. I deactivated my Facebook awhile ago.. All the latest happenings photos and shit, it just kills me with envy anyway. Nobody has an idea what I'm going through right now. No one can understand. Everything’s fucking off beam.
I have never felt THIS lonely. Things are getting way too depressing.
Kamille,
ReplyDelete>:(< >:D<
Hey you, it' been aeon's since we last felt each other's existence. :D . nonetheless, I trust that our friendship goes beyond time... maybe even space for that matter. :D .
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I'd like to say sorry for not being able to attend to your debut. Aside from schoolwork and such, I had other reasons for not going. But I believe that my apology is untimely and uncalled for as of now.
One thing about humans, is that we are all selfish. It's human to be selfish. Every man is for himself. It's true.
When a person dies.. The people around him/her do not grieve because the person lost life. They grieve because they have lost someone.
"BAKIT MO AKO INIWAN"
as what they would say.
But it is in this world where we discover that we are more then are instinctive selves. It is here where we prove our savage selves wrong and try to be a person for other than oneself.
It is selfish to be man.,. But it takes more than a man to be selfless.
And it isn't fair. Nothing is... But it is through that which is unfair and unjust that maybe.... just maybe we discover the reasons for our existence.
I could tell you so much more dk but i dont think written words might give justice to what I intend to say.
It's human to feel sad and alone. the very existence of emotions define our identity...and sanity for that matter.
Its so easy to succumb to sadness. For some weird reason, It feels good to feel sad. But then again, what would we become if we just spend precious seconds of our life leaning to that cold place.
If there is black, there is white.
If there is sadness, there is happiness.
Its just a matter knowing where to stay the longest.
I believe that you are more than your scalp... More than your sadness and more than your damages and mistakes,
You have a very beautiful existence dk. Full of up's and down's. You are happy and you are sad.
You are more of a man now than some would ever become in their entire waking lives.
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